The Other Side of Me
by hydro-serpent58
Summary: Hawkfrost wasn't always evil, infact, he was actually a loving brother. What if Brambleclaw had tried to get him to change and not follow in Tigerstar's footsteps? Would he be saved, or would StarClan's prophecy come true?
1. Born in Grief, Raised in Hate

**The Other Side of Me**

_By: hydro-serpent58_

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Kari: A-achoo! *sneezes*

**Ruby: Wait! *grabs handkerchief out of pocket* Here.**

**Kari: *sniffles* Thanks.**

**Nellie: Sorry everyone, but Kari-chan caught a cold.**

**Kari: *shrugs* I know a lot of you are gonna be mad at me for not updating my other fanfic, and instead putting this one up. Recently I've been reading some Warrior Cats books, and was hooked. So yesterday, I was randomly searching the web and found this fanart of Brambleclaw and Hawkfrost in ****Gijinka form. It's a humanoid version of a character that's an animal or something along those lines. A creature that was originally an animal becomes human version of that creature, ex: Cat - Cat Boy. So I was inspired to write something in my notebook while I was in bed. I just recently had time to type it.**

**Important Points to Remember:**

**~There are 3 stages a cat can obtain. Every stage had 2 levels, meaning there are 6 levels in all.**

**~In Stage 1 Level 1, the cat is just a normal cat. Basically this level is the form all readers are used to seeing.**

**~In Stage 1 Level 2, the cat morphs into a wilder version. For example, in S1L1 Fireheart is the size of a domestic cat, in S1L2 he becomes the size of a wild cat.**

**~In Stage 2 Level 1, the cat is still in its normal cat form. However, a unique characteristic is added. For example, at this stage Silverstream could have a mermaid tail.**

**~In Stage 2 Level 2, the cat is in its wild form and has the unique characteristic.**

**~In Stage 3 Level 1, the cat takes on its Gijinka form. This includes the cat ears, claws, fangs, and tail****.**

**~In Stage 3 Level 2, the cat is in its Gijinka form. However, the characteristic is also with it. For example, Scourge could be a neko-boy with red devil wings.**

**~Only a few cats can take on these forms. It is usually very difficult and a stressing thing to go under when they're shifting forms. It's very ****rare**** to get past S1L1.**

**Kari: Anyway, I wanted to focus on the different side of Brambleclaw and Hawkfrost. Brambleclaw is usually portrayed as a serious warrior. Hawkfrost is shown as a cat that followed in Tigerstar's footsteps. I know Brambleclaw killed Hawkfrost, but if you think about it, Hawkfrost truly did love his half-brother. He wanted him to be the next leader for ThunderClan.**

**In an AMV If saw, it showed Hawkfrost fading into Tigerstar. His smile had looked extremely forced, trapped, and upset rather than evil. Hawkfrost hadn't been able to stand up to their father since he was younger and had been exposed longer to his father than Brambleclaw had. He couldn't keep himself separate from his father anymore. Brambleclaw could never understand that because he was able to escape before their father stole and began to control his soul too. I think this is one of the reasons why Brambleclaw was able to kill Hawkfrost.**

**Anyway, this story is to show a different side of both of them. Of what their relationship could have been before Hawkfrost lost himself. Tigerstar opened up Hawkfrost's eyes to the possibility of leadership and influenced him. I believe that if Bramblclaw had really tried, Hawkfrost would have realized what he was doing and change. I hope you Hawkfrost haters will be able to see what Hawkfrost was like before Tigerstar screwed up his mind.**

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Chapter 1: Born in Grief, Raised in Hate, Helpless To Defy His Faith

_Frozen inside without your touch,_

_Without your love darling-_

_Only you are the life among the dead._

Brambleclaw sighed as he left camp. It was too noisy; some quietness would do him good. He padded through the ruff ferns and bushes. Finally the trees started to lessen, and he came upon a clearing.

Satisfied, he turned into his humanoid form and relaxed. He decided to sit down on a log and look at the sky. It was nice and quiet, no tumbling kits, whining elders, or annoying warriors. He sighed enjoying the light breeze that ruffled his hair.

Suddenly, he heard the bushes rustle behind him. His cat ears pricked up and he jumped to his feet. Whipping around he stared at the far side on the forest. A brown haired figure stepped out of the shadows and came forward.

"H-Hawkfrost?" Brambleclaw asked surprised. The other boy also stood in his humanoid form. He had own a white sleeveless shirt with the bottom torn and had on long brown trousers that had black stripes going through them.

Brambleclaw blinked. He himself wore a black shirt and black knee-length shorts. He wore a short sleeved dark brown blazer on top.

Hawkfrost stepped closer so they were only a few feet apart. At that moment the sound of footsteps and crunching leaves were heard. Three warriors came bursting out of the trees leaving the bushes rattling in their quake. They came to a halt and stared at the two neko-boys. The warriors were in S1L1 state.

Dustpelt narrowed his eyes. "What are you doing here? This is ThunderClan Territory!" He hissed.

Rainwhisker stepped forward. "I thought I smelt RiverClan, and I was right."

"Go back to your own Clan!" Squirrelflight growled barring her teeth.

Hawkfrost smirked and suddenly snaked his arms around Brambleclaw. Brambleclaw let out a yelp as Hawkfrost's arms encircled him from underneath his arms drawing him in closer. He found himself leaning against the other neko-boy with his back pressing against Hawkfrost's chest. He blushed as he felt his brothers' body against his. _Why do they have to be here damn it!_ He thought embarrassedly. It was humiliating the patrol had seen him in such a position.

"So? I can visit my little brother now, can't I?" Hawkfrost replied.

The warriors shifted uneasily. Dustpelt couldn't really say anything against that. After all, they were both Tigerclaw's kits. Rainwhisker stayed silent and just watched the two. He could find nothing suspicious with that, after all he wasn't hunting on their territory or anything. Besides, Brambleclaw wasn't complaining. Surely, if he was doing anything wrong, Brambleclaw would've fought him off by now. Squirrelflight on the other hand was glaring at the darker haired boy. She didn't trust Hawkfrost at all, it didn't help that they were in different Clans.

Hawkfrost looked down at the boy in his arms and smiled. "You look cute when you blush." He whispered into his ear.

Brambleclaw's face turned ten shades darker. It felt as if his face was on fire. "I'm not cute!" He shouted incredulously. He turned his head around to meet Hawkfrost's icy blue gaze.

Hawkfrost chuckled. "Of course you are, considering you're just a kit." Brambleclaw's honey golden eyes shone like fire. "I am NOT a kit! I have a warrior name, and it's Brambleclaw!"

Hawkfrost snickered. "It just so happens dear brother, I'm a foot taller than you. So please forgive me for mistaking you for a kit." Mockery laced his voice as he said that.

If nothing had set Brambleclaw off before, that sure did. He began flailing his arms around wildly and kicking at the air.

"Let me go!" He cried struggling. He tried to pry Hawkfrost's arms off him but had no avail. Hawkfrost had an iron grip on him.

"You're weak." Hawkfrost commented offhandedly.

Brambleclaw stopped to glare at him. "It's not my fault you're stronger than me! You've had more experience!"

"Oh yeah? What happened to that, "I'm a warrior" thing?"

Brambleclaw growled in frustration finding himself at a loss for words. What could he say in response to that?

Hawkfrost looked down at him with and amused expression. "Are you stupid or something?"

"What?" Brambleclaw demanded.

"Compared to me, you're nothing but a kitten. I can easily tear you to shreds." He lowered his voice. "Just because you're my brother, doesn't mean I'd go easy on you." He spoke so only Brambleclaw could hear him.

Shivers ran down the neko-boy's spine at the double meaning of the phrase.

The three ThunderClan cats watched the scene silently. Squirrelflight couldn't help but feel amazed. She'd always thought Brambleclaw was a relatively calm and collected guy, but seeing how childish he was acting now was rather astonishing. She could never draw those types of emotions out of the tom.

Now that she saw the two side by side, she couldn't help but marvel at how different they were. Brambleclaw looked like a little kid arguing with an older sibling. It didn't help that his shortness made him look absolutely adorable in Squirrelflight's eyes. Her lime green eyes traveled to the other neko-boy. Hawkfrost practically towered over the darker haired boy. He had this cool rebellious look to him. His mysterious ice blue eyes shone with amusement in contrast with Brambleclaw's fiery honey golden eyes. Brambleclaw's hair was a chocolate brown color with cocoa colored streaks; Hawkfrost's hair was dark brown with dark coffee colored streaks.

She felt her hostileness slowly fade away. It was quite touching seeing them converse with one another.

"_They may have the same father, but their mothers are different. One of them will walk in light and the other in shadow, it is destined for one of them to fall."_ Leafpool's words echoed in her mind.

_I want to believe that Hawkfrost is the one to turn evil but…_ Her eyes traveled to Brambleclaw. _What if it's him?_

Suddenly a pale brown cat with pale toffee brown streaks emerged out of the shadows. There was a scar across the bridge of his nose. He was in his S1L1 form.

His aureate topaz eyes looked past them focusing directly on the two neko-boys.

Hawkfrost's smile disappeared from his face. He released Brambleclaw and stepped away leaving the younger neko-boy surprised at the sudden action.

_'Hawkfrost'_ Tigerclaw spoke telepathically staring straight at his older son. His gaze was piercing as if analyzing his very soul.

_'Father'_ He replied coolly locked in his father's gaze.

The two stared at each other in a dead lock. The cheerful mood was quickly disappeared. The air became thick as the tension grew. The cats shifted uncomfortably. The warriors looked confusedly at Hawkfrost. What was he staring at?

Brambleclaw's stomach twisted as he cauhgt sight of the tabby. Only he and Hawkfrost could see the deceased cat. What did he want?

After what seemed like forever, which were actually a few moments, Hawkfrost turned away breaking his father's gaze.

Tigerclaw had silently communicated a message to him, and he had understood.

'_We'll have a talk about this later Hawk'_

_Gah…I knew I should've left sooner…_ If there was something he hated, it was spending time alone with his father. It was uncomfortable how intimidating he was, and how he spoke about the world in such a gruesome sense…

He began walking away in the opposite direction. "Hey! Where are you going?" Brambleclaw called.

"My Clan." He replied simply with his back facing them. Then, in a cloud of dust he was gone. The only proof he was standing there a second ago was the flying leaves and kicked up dirt.

Brambleclaw found himself envying Hawkfrost's ability to move so freely in his humanoid form. Brambleclaw was still getting used to his.

"Let's get back to camp." Dustpelt suggested.

The 2 patrol cats nodded and headed back. Brambleclaw transformed back into his S1L1 form and scurried after them. The entire time he felt his father's gaze burning holes through the back of his head.

Brambleclaw shuddered. _I hope Hawkfrost doesn't get in trouble for having my scent on him_

He could only imagine how the RiverClan cats would react to Hawkfrost walking in with ThunderClan scent on him. It didn't matter that they were brothers, they were in different clans. Being half-related didn't matter, if you're caught conversing with another Clan cat the stakes were high.

Chills went down his spine at the thoughts of punishment RiverClan could give if Hawkfrost was caught. He could be drowned half to death for all he knew.

Shaking his head, he raced to catch up with the patrol. Squirrelflight had waited behind for him. She smiled flirtatiously although she did wrinkle her nose at the fishy scent that lingered on him, the scent of RiverClan. He didn't know why, but he found the scent rather…appealing.

Rolling his eyes in response he thought: _Why don't you go back to your dear Ashfur?_

The cats sprinted back into ThunderClan camp leaving the forest rattling in their wake.

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I KNOW CATS DON'T WEAR CLOTHES!

But I'd rather have them wear something than not wear anything. Besides, their clothes match the patterns on their furs. So just think their pelt transforms into clothes. xD

I don't really know where I'll go with this. This is my first story that will only be one chapter long. Hurray for my first one-shot! :D If you want it to continue, I really don't know what to say to you. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this with all the brotherly love moments. Lol, Brambleclaw's short. xD Please review!

~hydro-serpent58


	2. And I Know, I've Lost Who I Am

**The Other Side of Me**

_By: hydro-serpent58_

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_**Chapter 2: And I Know, I've Lost Who I Am**_

_You never cared to hear the other side_

_So why would you care to keep this thing alive_

_You paint me into the memory of all your pain_

_But I will not be drawn into the past again_

"Hawk, care to explain to me what you were doing on Thunderclan Territory?" The pale brown tabby asked. His aureate topaz eyes stared piercingly into his son's soul.

The younger tom grimaced. "I know I wasn't supposed to be there, but I just wanted to see Brambleclaw." The tom muttered.

The two were alone on RiverClan's side of Sunning Rocks. The river roared loudly covering up their conversation to any prying ears, it's not like they could see Tigerstar anyway.

"Hn." The older cat murmured swishing his tail.

_He's too wild and reckless, unlike his brother._ Tigerstar observed. His sharp gaze calculating his son's worth. _His untamable spirit...he's a true rebel and disregards the rules. Yet, he can slide his way out of any trouble, RiverClan taught him well._

His eyes traveled to his son's eyes...Sasha's eyes. _He's a fighter, just like his mom._ Tigerstar couldn't help but smirk. He knew he had made the right choice by mating with that rouge, together that had produced powerful young kits. Brambleclaw was strong, but it was a disappointment that he wasn't a rebel like his father.

_Firestar has influenced him too much_ He thought bitterly. His older son had been brought up too lightly in is opinion, on top of that he had an unwavering loyalty to that stupid tom. He thought disdainfully.

Hawkfrost on the other hand, was a rebel. He wasn't influenced as much and with the rouge blood in him made him naturally hard too tame. He would be easier to manipulate than his older brother.

"Since you can find time to sneak into other Clan territories, I assume you can find time for me to train you in during the day as well." The cat spoke monotonously.

Ice blue eyes sparkled and up at him in shock. "You mean...not just in our dreams anymore?"

Tigerstar smirked. His sons truly did worship him, just like his old followers. His thoughts trailed to Darkstripe. The tom was truly loyal to him, and would follow him to the pits of hell. He didn't deserve to be in the Dark Forest. He thought angrily, the poor tom deserved to be with StarClan! Yet they had rejected him for following him. He thought grudgingly. He truly felt sympathetic for him, he hadn't abandoned him like Longtail had. He had been loyal...to the very end.

Clearing his thoughts he responded, "Yes. I shall train you alone. From now on you will spend all your nights training with me, awake and asleep."

Hawkfrost's eyes gleamed. He couldn't believe it! They were finally gonna train in real life! However, he blinked as he replayed his father's words in his head.

"What about Brambleclaw?" He saw he father's eyes narrow and a chilling aura seemed to surround him. he almost regretted bringing him up but the tom replied smoothly. "These are private lessons for you alone. Your brother may have less experience fighting than you do, but he has had more training with actual warriors." He stared deeply into his younger son's ice blue eyes.

"I have high expectations for you Hawk. Do let me down." _Like that failure of a brother you have_ He added silently. His lethal gaze searched his son's face.

"I won't! I'll become just like you! Just wait and see!" The naive tom spoke excitedly.

A dangerous smirk appeared on Tigerstar's face, one that Hawkfrost totally missed. _It's begun_ He thought wickedly with an evil gleam.

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Mothwing watched worriedly as her brother slipped out of camp once again. He'd been doing this for the last month now. Every night he'd slip out of the Warrior's Den and disappear. Then, just hours before first dawn he would return and quietly enter the Den.

The first time she witnessed this happen she had just returned to the den after going out to pluck watermint from the stream. At sunset she had realized they were on low supply of them and had rushed out to get them. As she neared the Medicine Cat's Den, she had spotted her brother lurking about before he disappeared into the night as if a shadow.

At first she had been alarmed, but then remembered he might've been asked to go on the night patrol. With that in mind she went inside and placed the watermint in its place before going to be for the night.

It was a weeks later when she saw her brother disappear into the night again. She had been staying up taking care on one of the elders. A rat had snuck into the Elder's Den and hidden in the nest. Later, the rat had bitten one of the elders when the old tom had tried to get some rest. Startled, the rat was quickly taken care of but the elder's wound was bleeding profusely.

She had just finished wrapping fresh cobwebs around the paw and feeding the elder some wild garlic and was dead tired. She saw the elder to the exit of the Den and watched him limp back into the Elder's Den. She was about to turn back when she caught sight of a moving shadow. Alert, she watched the shadow silently, searching for the source. her eyes trailed back to a tall tom with dark brown fur. Her eyes widened. _Hawkfrost!_ She watched him slink out of view and vanish of the borders of the encampment.

She knew for a fact this time, the night patrol had already left. Hawkfrost had no reason to leave the camp. _Just where is he going?_ She thought suspiciously. She wanted to follow, but what if someone needed her? She couldn't just run and leave the Camp without a Medicine Cat.

With a sigh, she snuggled into her nest. _I'll ask him in the morning._

...

"Hawkfrost." Mothwing called. She saw her brothers' ears perk up before turning to her. He was currently munching on a trout he had picked up from the fresh kill pile. He had recently returned from hunting, it was the perfect time to ask him.

"Yeah Moth?" He asked calling her by her original name.

She smiled. "I have something I need to ask you." He looked up at her quizzically. "Where did you go last night?" She saw his body stiffen and his hackles rise. Looking into his eyes she was surprised to see an unfamiliar emotion lurk in his eyes. It was like a hidden shadow clouding a corner of his eyes, but it was there. And it was stirring...she didn't like it. The way he looked at her, it sent chills down her body.

"What do you mean?" He asked softly. He wasn't carefree like he was a moment ago. He was tensed and serious. There was a warning in this stance, was he being...cautious?

"Don't play dumb with me. I saw you leave Camp last night." Her gaze turned stern. "What exactly were you doing so late in the night?"

"I was..." The tom looked away refusing to meet her eyes. He knew he could never lie to his sister, she could see right through him. With a troubled sigh he spoke. "I was training."

Mothwing tilted her head to the side. "Training? What for?"

"I'm a Warrior Moth. Of course I need to train!" Hawkfrost snapped.

Mothwing jumped back surprised. Hawkfrost...**never** snapped at her. What was going on?

"Hawk..." She spoke dangerously, a warning tone in her voice. She didn't want to have to threaten him, but she had to know why he was acting so strangely.

Hawkfrost blinked in realization. The fact he had snapped at her was bad, and the fact she was using his real name was even worst. She wanted to truth, **now**.

Hawkfrost took and deep breath. "I'm sorry. But I'm telling you the truth, I've only been training while I was gone. Honest."

She looked at him suspiciously. Searching him for any sign that he was looked into his eyes and saw that he was sincere. The shadow she had seen in her eyes earlier had disappeared, and instead a honest shine in his eyes replaced it.

Reluctantly, she sighed in defeat closing her eyes. "Alright, I believe you."

"How long have you been training anyway?" As asked looking back up at him curiously.

She saw him freeze and give her an uncomfortable expression. "Uh..."

"Hawk, **now**." She demanded irritatedly.

"Since last moon!" He blurted out. She looked at him shocked. That long? Why hadn't he told her? "Hawk..." She spoke quietly. Her brother flinched hearing the hurt in her voice. "Why didn't you tell me?" "Because...I knew you'd resent me going out in the night and training!" He replied back firmly. However, he faltered as my amber gaze met his. "What else...have you been keeping from me?" She never got an answer.

She thought somberly remembering that day. As soon as she had spoken those words the light in his eyes had faded, and instead a guarded expression took its place. The day after that, she never caught him sneaking out again. But, she knew he was still doing it.

Although the others didn't notice it, he grew more hostile. He didn't talk to her as much after that encounter. She couldn't understand, they never kept anything from each other. They told each other everything, whenever something troubled them they would seek the other for solace. They were always there for one another.

But she knew the relationship she had with her brother was damaged, and it would never be the same. She couldn't shake the feeling that he was hiding greater and more dangerous things from her. Everyone was blind, they couldn't see him changing.

Couldn't they see? He couldn't laugh carefree anymore. His childishness was slowly vanishing. His naivety had long since faded away. The light in his eyes was disappearing. They only praised him for him incredible skills, they couldn't see that his entire persona was changing. Becoming closed off, no one could bring out his true emotions. He kept them hidden.

No one knew, no one noticed, no one could see he was silently suffering. No one could see he was dying inside. No one could see the urgency of immediate attention. No one ever knew, what he would become.

_'Cause all of this is all that I can take_

_And you could never understand the demons that I faced_

_So go ahead and bat your eyes and lie right to the world_

_For everything you are_

_is just a little girl._

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***A/N~Looks like Hawkfrost is finally changing. Tigerstar, I hate you. -_- Poor Mothwing, she doesn't know what to do. Brambleclaw's being an idiot as usual trying to ward off Squirrelflight. In the end he's gonna fall for her whether he likes it or not. Please review!***

~hydro-serpent58


	3. Awakened

**The Other Side of Me**

_By: hydro-serpent58_

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_**Chapter 3: Awakened**_

_Without a soul,_

_My spirit's sleeping somewhere cold,_

_Until you find it there and lead it back_

_Home._

Gasps and rapid successions of panting were heard in the dead middle of the night. Hawkfrost felt his lungs burn for air as he forced his aching muscles to stand. Aureate topaz eyes observed the dark brown cats' tired form.

"You're too weak. You need to be stronger." The larger pale brown cat spoke. Pained icy blue eyes met emotionless aureate topaz ones.

"Again."

This continued on well into the night. Not once did Tigerstar ever hold back on him. And Hawkfrost was at his limit.

Seeing his ragged condition the tom spoke, "Tell me Hawk, why do you endure this training with me?"

The young tom shot him a quizzical expression. "I'm not sure, I understand your question." He replied carefully.

"I mean, what is your motive to fight?" Tigerstar replied undeterred.

Hawkfrost paused for a moment. "Well…I do it for the Clan." He answered. "I fight off intruders and hunt, all for the well-being and safety for my Clan. I do it to protect them." He finished with a loyal glint in his eyes.

Tigerstar sighed. "Yes, you're a well trained warrior and that is a noble cause." Hawkfrosts' eyes shone with pride at his father's complement, however the Clan Leader wasn't finished yet.

"However, you have already achieved that." The cat looked his illegitimate son in the eyes. "You've already met and accomplished that goal Hawk. It's time for you to take on greater ambitions. It's time you start looking for something greater."

He watched as his younger son slowly processed this information. "But…" He spoke hesitantly. "I thought the code was, everything you do was for the greater good of the Clan. What greater things can I do, then what I'm doing already?"

"You have given your all for the Clan." Tigerstar cut in sharply. "You've fought valiantly alongside time, and have helped them tremendously with your hunting abilities. Your skill hasn't gone unnoticed. However, all you've ever done is devote yourself to the Clan. You've already proven your loyalty to them Hawk, it's about time you make a new goal to commit yourself to."

Hawkfrost gave him a troubled expression. "But you're supposed to give your all to the Clan…"

"Hawk, everyone is allowed to be selfish sometimes. Just because you want to do something new besides protecting the Clan all the time doesn't mean you're turning your back on them. This is about you, and what you want. When was the last time you did anything for yourself?"

Hawkfrost thought hard for a few moments, before slowly shaking his head. "Not since Mother left Moth and I here."

"You haven't had anything else to strive for in a while Hawk. It's about time you start paying attention to things _you_ want. While the life of a Warrior is a noble, one without their own personal causes will succumb to the word of the Clan."

Hawkfrost stood there for a moment contemplating, before he nodded. "I understand, nothing's wrong with thinking about what I want once on a while." He replied.

Tigerstar smiled. _Getting rid of his selflessness, check_

"Anyway, I want you to think high. From now on think of great things, thing **you** will become. Never forget, the things I have thought you."

Hawkfrost nodded with fierce determination in his eyes. "Yes, I understand Father."

_And you still won't hear me, going under  
Don't want your hand this time, I'll save myself  
Maybe I'll wake up for once  
Not tormented daily, defeated by you  
Just when I thought, I reached the bottom_

…

**- 2 Weeks Later –**

Hawkfrost shrieked in pain as his Father slashed across his underbelly. Even though there was no physical wound, the pain was **very** much real. He skidded back gasping for breath. Tigerstar eyed him cruelly.

"What's this I hear about you going easy on an intruder?" He hissed venomously.

"Father! It was just a kit that wondered in from the moorland! He was lost and didn't know he crossed the border! There's no way I could've gone full out on him!" He replied back defensively.

Suddenly Tigerstar's back leg came scrapping forward delivering a powerful blow sending him flying back a few yards. The unsheathed claws tore at his skin before his crashed onto the ground rolling backwards kicking up dirt. When he finally stopped tumbling like a tumbleweed he landed painfully on his stomach. The wind was knocked out of him.

"**Never, EVER, go easy on an opponent!**" The cat roared.

Hawkfrost flinched. "But-"

"You never show mercy to anyone! It doesn't matter if it was a kit or an elder, he was still an **intruder**. He could've lied and been a spy sent over from WindClan for all you know!"

"Father, I seriously doubt they would send a kit to do some spying-"

He stopped instantly as Tigerstar's intimidating form towered over them. A huge shadow fell over him making him feel tiny and weak. It was times like these that scared him, the way his Father was so brutal…it was frightening.

"You will **never** show _mercy_," he spoke the word disdainfully as if even saying the term tasted filthy in his mouth, "to **anyone**." He stared deeply into his son's eyes.

"You will remember these words." The pale brown cat spoke. His aureate topaz eyes pierced his sons' very soul. "I will make sure of it."

By the end of the month, Hawkfrost had gotten the words beaten into him.

The next time there was an intruder, it wasn't pretty. Let's just say, the unlucky cat ended up returning to camp deformed, disabled, and severely wounded. His days as a Warrior were over. It was that night Tigerstar praised his son with pride. It was also the night, Hawkfrost smiled. But it was different; it had a cruel edge to it. And for the first time, there was a shadow in his eyes. The monster within, had finally been born.

_Making him merciless, check_

…

**- Same Night Mothwing Finds Out About Hidden Training -**

"Father, I'm not sure that we should continue these meetings." Hawkfrost spoke hesitantly.

Tigerstar's unnerving gaze snapped towards him. "Why." It wasn't a question, it was a demand.

Hawkfrost gulped. "It's just…Moth is starting to notice something's up. And I don't want to worry her-"

"Your training is very important. And you can't give it up for something as trivial as your sister's worries."

"But, she's really wary of you. If she finds out about you, she'll try to stop me from meeting you. She doesn't trust you, and doesn't want me to be around you all the time. I think it'll be better to just stop now before she ever finds out. I'll work harder in the Dark Forest, I promise."

Tigerstar's eyes narrowed. _So not only are Firestar's kits wary of him, but his sister as well? This will prove to be problematic… it seems that failure is the only one willing to trust him_

"**Listen**, to me Hawk." Hawkfrost shivered. Whenever his Father used that tone of voice, he couldn't help but shudder. It was the way he would speak calmly, coldly, and methodically, without even a hint of rage.

"**Nothing** will get in your way. Remember your resolution?" He was met with silence.

"Your AMBITION!"

Hawkfrost flinched and hastily replied. "Y-yes! It was to someday be a Clan Leader."

Tigerstar nodded. "And why is that?"

"Because…Mistyfoot can't do a proper job." His icy blue eyes turned cold as steel.

"A badger invaded the territory and some kits were harmed health wise because she didn't bother to send someone out to survey the area." He growled. "Those incidents happened because her patrols were not organized! The camp could've critically been injured from that badger, and those kits could've been scarred for life if Blackclaw and I hadn't built a thorn fence." He spat seething.

Pure hatred and rage was swirling in his eyes. Tigerstar smirked. _So he already has someone he loathes…perfect_

"And what does this have to do with your goal?"

"She's deputy!" He snapped. "When Leopardstar joins StarClan, _she'll_ be the new Leader!"

Tigerstar's smirk widened as he saw his son's hackles rise. _Hmm…he seems to really detest her… A good thing too, considering she looks exactly like Bluestar_ The mere thought of that she-cat made his blood boil. His mentor Thistleclaw had hated her as well; however his grudge against Firestar was also rather fierce. That stupid tom had demolished his plan and gotten him exiled.

Shaking his head, the tom sighed. "Exactly. In order to combat her, you need this training. Or do you really, want to follow _Mistystar_." He spoke with emphasis on the she-cat's possible name.

Hawkfrost's body tensed and looked his father in the eye. "I won't." He whispered. In his eyes, the shadow had grown. No longer just at the edges of his eyes, but it was starting to grow thicker.

_I'm dying again, I'm going under  
Drowning in you, I'm falling forever  
I've got to break through, I'm going under  
Blurring and stirring the truth and the lies  
So I don't know what's real and what's not_

The day after that Hawkfrost barely spoke to his sister. Every time he'd look at her, Tigerstar's words would ring through his head; "_They'll hold you back. Friends are fickle and temporary, they will keep you blinded from what you really want. She won't have your back forever, one day she'll turn around and become your enemy. Just like Squirrelflight and Mistyfoot._" Because of that he could never look at her without those thoughts coming to mind, and frankly, just hearing his Father's voice in his mind all the time terrified him.

_So I don't know what's real and what's not  
Always confusing the thoughts in my head  
So I can't trust myself anymore  
I'm dying again, I'm going under  
Drowning in you, I'm falling forever  
I've got to break through_

The only cat he could possibly consider a loyal friend, would be someone who he'd know for sure wouldn't betray him and agrees with the ideals he sees. Someone who would have the same moral values like him and had felt as many hardships as he had. Someone who he could agree with and sympathize with, someone he'd die to protect. Sadly, no one seemed to fit that description. It seemed he could only rely on himself.

_I'm dying again, I'm going under  
Drowning in you, I'm falling forever  
I've got to break through, I'm going under  
Going under, I'm going under_

* * *

***A/N~Urgh…Tigerstar's training is so brutal. -_- As you can see, in each session Tigerstar influenced Hawkfrost in a different way. As for the last paragraph, you might find it confusing. Later chapters will soon explain what that's about.***

~hydro-serpent58


	4. I Can't Escape Myself

**The Other Side of Me**

_By: hydro-serpent58_

* * *

_**Chapter 4: I Can't Escape Myself**_

_How can you see into my eyes_

_Like open doors?_

_Lading you down into my core,_

_Where I've become so numb._

**~ 2 Years Ago ~**

The moon rose high. It was the time of the Gathering. The meeting had just ended, and the cats were returning back to their territories. Leopardstar led RiverClan back to the river. As she walked errr, stalked rather. Her persona gave off rather a fierce aura; she was growling under her breath and had absolute fury raging in her eyes. The other cats knew to give her some space as she forcefully stomped her way towards the river.

How _dare_ they! They had been nice to offer them the use of the River to drink from, and they return their thanks with this? An accusation none the less! She felt like screaming at something right now. A couple moons ago, she had been the one to accept him for who he was. And he had given his all to the Clan, and all he'd done was try to point out what he saw. And what does Tallstar do? He outright accuses him of lying! That's what he does. Hawkfrost had proven his loyalty over and over again, and here this bigot comes claiming he's lying just because he doesn't like what's being said about his Clan? It could be the truth for all they know! She had mentored the tom herself, when Tallstar had called him a liar he had greatly struck a nerve. Of course Firestar had to come to the rescue before she shredded that tom's pelt to pieces. **No one** insults her Clan **or** her ex-apprentice if she has anything to say about it.

From afar, Tigerstar watched with an amused expression. So his little kit had stirred up some trouble eh? How crafty, even getting the Leaders to fought each other. He chuckled. His son would become quite the manipulator.

...

Slowly and surely, Leafpool crept out of camp. Once she was a safe distance away, she ran for it. Just last night she had received word from Mothwing asking her for her to meet her. The scenery changed vastly as she neared RiverClan territory. The hard earth under her and the smell of pine disappeared. Instead, it started to turn rocky as she entered Sunning Rocks. The scent of fish invaded her nostrils as she slowed down into a cautious walk.

"Psst! Over here." Turning sharply, Leafpool walked over to a large cluster of boulders piled next to each other. She slid into the shadow they created and went into the small cave that was in the middle of the cluster of rocks. She stopped when she got faced-to-faced with amber eyes.

"Mothwing." She spoke pleasantly. The tabby nodded curtly. "I'm so glad you came." Leafpool noticed the other she-cat seemed strained. "It's about Hawkfrost. Something's wrong with him." As she spoke her eyes became pained.

Alarmed, Leafpool fixed the older she-cat with an apprehensive look. "What happened?"

"Everyone at Camp is blind! They can't see the fact he's changing!" He expression turned sober.

"I caught Hawkfrost sneaking out of camp at night and confronted him about it. He snapped at me, he actually snapped at me Leafpool! He never does with me! After Tadpole died we only had each other. We never snap at each other. Never." She choked back a sob.

"After that our relationship has never been the same. No one else is close to him Leafpool, only I was. And he lost the only attachment he had in our Clan." She took a breath.

"He won't talk to me anymore. He won't even look at me! Every time he does he gets this pained expression in his face and looks away." Tears gathered in her eyes.

"I don't know what's wrong. I feel as if I'm the key to his misery, whenever he looks at me he seems so helpless. Like he's silently suffering and I can't do anything about it!" She broke down and let the tears fall freely. Her body shuddered as she was racked with sobs.

Leafpool stepped closer and rubbed her body against hers, trying to comfort her. "I don't know what to do...I don't know what to do...I don't know..." Mothwing whispered trembling.

Leafpool looked desperately at the she-cat she thought of as the older sister she never had. Sure, she had Squirrelflight, but they were polar opposites. Squirrelflight was stubborn and out-going, not afraid to voice her opinion. Leafpool was quiet and calm, always thinking first before doing anything. They were friends, no doubt. But Leafpool had never really shared a close bond with her sister, they didn't have that "spark" in their relationship most siblings did. In fact, Leafpool felt that Mothwing was more of a sister to her than Squirrelflight, she just felt she could "connect" with her, something she never felt with her biological sister.

Right now however, Leafpool wasn't sure what to do. "What would you like me to do?" She finally sked softly, allowing the older she-cat to rest he chin on her shoulder as she wept.

That seemed to break through to her, so she spoke through her tears, her voice cracking slightly as she did so. "I need you to talk to Brambleclaw. He's the only other cat that I know has a close relationship with Hawk. Please tell him to watch him and look out for him, give him a shoulder to lean on. Please...he needs to confide in someone desperately. Since our friendship has disappeared, he needs someone else to turn to. Please, tell him. He needs someone to look out for him, someone who could not be me." With those final words she buried her face into Leafpool's fur.

She didn't know what was wrong, but she couldn't shake the feeling that she had failed him. She had broken their friendship in a time when he really needed it, and now he couldn't find any comfort in their Clan. He couldn't turn to the only family he had left. And that was what really stabbed at her heart.

He wouldn't trust her.

Leafpool nodded even though Mothwing couldn't see it. "I understand. I'll talk to Brambleclaw."

She lowered her voice, "I'm sorry I was so suspicious of him. If me and Squirrelflight hadn't shown such obvious distrust towards Hawkfrost, he probably would've had some more cats he could turn to, but now, any hope for that is gone. I'm sorry."

Silence reigned for a few moments, but it was broken by Mothwing. "Sorry won't fix anything. It's too late now, even if you were to apologize it won't change the fact he's changing, and that I'm losing the only brother I have left."

_I look into Your Heart and discover Myself_

_If You knew the Truth,_

_You'd Never Accept Me_

_So stop believing_

_I'll Never be Apart of Your World_

—_Hawkfrost_

* * *

**A/N I'd like to thank my reviewers:**

**tufted titmouse**

Thanks for the review!

**AnimeWolfAlienRaptor4**

Don't worry, he'll appear again! =D

**bluepatch**

Good luck with your story! And thank you for the review. :3

**The Ghost of Insanity**

Awww. Thank you so much! *hugs* In the first chapter I wanted to show a cute brotherly relationship between them. ;) Hence, the adorable teasing came in. Siblings are so cute when you watch them play with one another. xD Me and my older brother used to be like that. However when you mentioned love I was confused. Would you mind further explaining that?

* * *

Mothwing could never understand the pain Hawkfrost went through, losing his sister to the darkness. It's too late for Leafpool to do anything about it.

Pain won't stop, whatever you do.

Anyway, I wrote the last stanza by myself, and I'm proud of it. I think it really shows what Hawkfrost would say to not only Mothwing, but a lot of cats that believe in him. It can be interoperated in multiple ways.

~hydro-serpent58


	5. Till' the Skies Bleed Ashes

The Other Side of Me

_By: hydro-serpent58_

* * *

_**Chapter 5: Till' the Skies Bleed Ashes**_

_Mother looking at me  
Tell me what do you see?  
Yes, I've lost my mind_

Brambleclaw sighed strechting out in his S3L1 form. It was nice being in this form, the height advantage it provided was excellent. Not to mention not many cats could make it past S1L1, two of those being the "princess's" of Thunderclan. Oh, how he loved to rub that fact in the face of a certain ginger furred she-cat. Not even Sandstorm got to S3L1, but she did have a S1L2 form.

It has long since been known, that every Leader gained the potential to get to S3L1 from the moment they obtained their 9 lives. However, it is through there own strenght that they can achieve the final form, S3L2. The only Leaders known to have done this would be Thunder, Shadow, River, Wind, and Scourge.

As his thoughts drifted the neko-boy looked up at the sky smiling. Sunlight filterred in through the tree tops lighting up the ground below. It was times like these that he enjoyed being alone. However, it was short lived.

"Yo!" Suddenly a force slammed into him from behind causing him to topple over.

"Gaaah!" He cried out as he went down with a loud _thump_. He felt weight shift on top of him as he was forced to lie on his back. Opening his eyes, a pair of ice blue orbs met his.

"Hawkfrost!" He hissed.

"How's it going lil' bro?" The neko-boy grinned at him.

"Get off me!"

"Awww, but I like it this way." He replied cuddling up to his younger brother.

Brambleclaw groaned. What in StarClan did he do to deserve this?

*cough*Maybebecause youmockedThunderClans'currentprincess?**cough* A snarky voice spoke in his head.

_Oh shut up you!_ He snapped at his inner consciousness before turning back to the matter at hand.

"Hawfrost..." He started in a bewildered tone.

"Hmmm?" The dark haired tom murmered resting his head on his half-brothers' chest. His eyes were closed, but his dark brown tail swished indicating he was listening.

"Get off me."

"No."

"Now."

"No."

"Why not?"

"I don't want to."

The honey-eyed neko-boy sighed exasperated. "If you do not get up, I'll scracth you." After all, he did still have his nails. (claws)

Hawkfrost lifted his head and stared at him. A shadow swept into his eyes and his face took on an unreadable expression.

"I dare you." There was no playfulness in his voice. The look on his face sent chills down Brambleclaws' spine.

Swallowing back his sudden intimidation, his golden eyes gleamed in defiance. "Oh yeah? Well fine!" He responded back heatedly. He refused to show Hawkfrost how unerved he was about that expression.

Raising his hands, he swiped out towards the older neko-boy, claws unsheated. (The nails are sharper than human nails, so really they just grew longer to extend out)

However Hawkfrost was quicker. Grabbing his wrists he pinned the younger toms' wrists above his head. The claws were useless now, unable to reach the target. In that swift motion Hawkfrost had shifted his position and was now straddling Brambleclaw.

Brambleclaw glared at him helplessly while darkened cyan blue eyes stared back. A midnight blue shadow swirling in its depths. Finally, after what seemed like an eternity Hawkfrost spoke, "Too slow, dear brother." The unreadable look slid off and changed into a smirk. The shadow retreated to wherever it had come from.

Relieved the dark haired tom was back to normal, the younger male relaxed a little before firing back a retort.

"Shut up! Why are you even here?" He complained feebly.

Hawkfrost chuckled at his brothers' pathetic defense. "Really Brambleclaw, that's all you have to say?"

The light-brown haired boy opened his mouth to argue before realizing he was indeed at a loss for words. Thus he resorted to shutting his mouth and settled for a death glare.

In response that damn smirk of his widened before the tom released his wrists and leaned back. "I just wanted to talk." He replied airily.

Brambleclaw blinked. "Talk?" He asked grateful he could move again since the older tom had moved off him. He sat up and looked at the other quizzically. Hawkfrost had his legs crossed Indian-style and was leaning back on the palms of his hands.

"You know what I mean." He responded in a relaxed manner.

"And you just had to jump on me for a simple talk?" The younger male replied drily.

"You're cute when you're surprsied, especially when you blush." He responded with a grin.

"Am not." Brambleclaw replied flustered. he felt his cheeks heating up at the comment.

"Oh yes you are, and you know it." The tom pointed out.

The light haired boy flushed, his face colored multiple shades of pink. His golden eyes sparkled embarrassedly and his small form shrunk away trying to disappear. In all, it was quite an adorable picture.

The other neko-boy snickered at his uncomfort. "My point exactly." He muttered closing his eyes. He felt back sprawled on the grass. "How long are you gonna hide? Cuz you're not doing a very good job of it." He spoke nonchalantly.

Brambleclaw hesitantly peeked and saw his bro lying down. Reluctantly he unfurled himself from his fetal position and catiously looked over at him.

Hawkfrost had his arms folded behind his head cutioning it from the ground. There was a peaceful look on his face that calmed Brambleclaw down. Slowly the blush started to fade away. While he observed him sounds of sparrows chirping filled the air. Clouds came into view blocking the sun casting shade upon the duo. Eventually Hawkfrost spoke breaking the silenece. (excluding the birds)

"How's your sister?"

Brambleclaw jerked his head up. "Tawnypelt?" He spoke startled.

"Do you have another one I'm not aware of?"

"Uh..."

"Then yes, I'm talking about her."

Brambleclaw face palmed. Gosh, he just made himself look like an idiot. "Okay, I get it." He spoke wearily sighing. He flopped back unto the ground lying next to his brother.

"Last time I visited her, she attacked me thinking I was an intruder before she realized it was me."

Hawkfrost opened one eye and peered at him. "Didn't she catch your scent?"

"Yeah, but I smelt like any other ThunderClan cat—"

"No." By now both his eyes were open and was staring directly at him. "You are her kin. No matter where you are and what scents you pick up, underneath all the smells is your own personal scent cats use to identify you. As siblings your scent was ingraved into her memory at birth since you were her first litter mate. She should've been able to tell it was you all soon as she caught wiff of your smell."

Brambleclaw shifted away uneasily. The stare he was getting really unerved him, biting his lip he quietly spoke. "It's happened before..." [Note: Reference to Midnight]

Hawkfrost shut his eyes at that. "I see." It grew quiet once more. The wind blew shaking the trees while combing the grass.

Brambleclaw continued, "She still cares about me, but she's never visited me at ThunderClan. It's always me that visits her at ShadowClan...sometimes I wonder if it's worth the risk of seeing her." He lowered his eyes and clenched his fists.

Hawkfrost said nothing.

"I mean, when we were younger she would berate me for sneaking into ShadowClan to see her. That was when we were closer, but now she's grown distant from me. I'm still reaching out to her but she shrinks away from me...and seeks refuge in the Clan." Brambleclaw sighed.

"I know I have no right to complain, she's comfortable where she is, she's home. But, she's distant now. If I visit her she's indifferent about it, she greets me and smiles, but it's polite and formal. No longer compassionate or loving. She's neutral about me, well she ALWAYS has been, even before she left. She doesn't side with me, and I can understand that she's loyal to the Clan, but it hurts."

He took in a shaky breath. "She'd put ShadowClan over her own brother...I know she's following the code, but I just can't help but feel betrayed." He whispered.

The entire time Hawkfrost had remained quiet with his eyes closed, a blank mask on his face. Finally he spoke, "That's quite ironic."

Brambleclaw opened his eyes and turned he head to the side looking over at his still form. "Considering it's always me who visits you here at ThunderClan, and you've never once visited me at RiverClan." He spoke bluntly.

Brambleclaw flinched at that. "She may be neutral about you, but doesn't even acknowledge Mothwing as her half-sister and I as her half-brother. Infact she's made it clear that she _loathes_ me." [Note: Reference to Starlight]

His eyes opened. "The fact she refuses accept us as kin nor acknowledge us as siblings shows she holds some sort of grudge against us, and me in particular." Hawkfrost narrowed his eyes, "I don't know if it's because we're rouges, or that she resents the fact Tigerstar mated with another cat, or if she see's us as another of "Tigerstar's Kin" to be grouped with. Wasn't that what drove her out of your Clan?"

Brambleclaw cringed. "Maybe she sees us as a reminder of our father. However..." Hawkfrost sat up and took in Brambleclaw's wilted form. "Never forget she still considers you a brother."

The dark haired tom stood up and walked away leaving the honey-eyed brunet alone.

* * *

Brambleclaw entered camp in his S1L1 form. Hawkfrost really knew how to emotionally exhaust him, whenever he hung out with him his emotions would go haywire. Brambleclaw sighed. _Now that I think about it, I was the one who did most of the talking_ He thought humorlessly.

"Brambleclaw." A feminine voice spoke. Turning around honey golden eyes clashed with flamming amber eyes.

"Oh, hey Leafpool." He replied back easily turning to meet her gaze.

The light hazel furred she-cat stopped in front of him and pawed at the ground. Her eyes hesitantly met his before asking, "Have you seen Hawkfrost lately?"

"What?" Brambleclaw replied panicking. _Shoot, does she know I've been meeting with him?_

"Why do you want to know?" He responded distractedly. Incospiosuly he tried to sniff his fur to see if he had any fish scent of him wondering if that was what had alerted her.

"Well..." She looked away uncertainly, "...just look out for Hawkfrost okay? He's needs someone to look out for him cause he's always taking care of someone else." She spoke vaugely. She subtly unsheated her claws and proceeded to draw an incorrehent figure on the soil unable to look at him. If he had looked closely he would've seen her white paw trembly slightly.

Brambleclaw blinked snapping out of his thoughts. "Wait...you never cared about Hawkfrost well-being before, why do you care now?" He questioned raising an eyebrow.

A dainty blush flittered over the tabbys' face. "I—It's not like that! I'm j—just concerned, that's all she sputtered."

A good distance away, a lime eyed she-cat watched the interaction between the two. Her mouth was pulled into a frown.

Although she was too far away to hear anything, watching her sister blush and stutter was enough to give her the wrong idea. Her eyes narrowed. _How dare she! I had my eye on him first._ She thought in disdain.

As she continued to silently send death glares at her sister a voice to her left caught her attention.

"Yo!" A bisqure colored tom suddenly spoke pouncing. However, the sleek pale gray tom he was targeting smoothly side stepped the attack. The hunter ended up somersaulting right into a boulder.

"Owww..." He moaned.

The older tom sighed. "You're not going to catch anyone by surprise by yelling out your prescense."

The other cat rolled over shaking his head before grinning childishly. "Let's go explore around like we used too!" A bisque colored apprentice spoke happily wagging his tail.

A sleek pale gray tom with dark flecks on his back raised an eyebrow. "Birchfall, you're a warrior now. You have the Clan to take care of and aren't you courting Whitewing? Why would you spend time with me?"

Birchfall frowned standing up. "You're my mentor! We don't get to spend time together anymore, and I miss that."

"I _was_ your mentor." The other cat corrected.

Birchfall paused, "That doesn't matter, you'll always be a mentor to me." He vowed. "Besides, I haven't actually approached Whitewing yet, we're still just friends..." He trailed off quietly.

The other tom shook his head. "Listen, if you just want to hang out to ask for mating tips, you're better off asking Ferncloud about that."

"What? NO!" He replied blushing.

"No...I just, want to hang out again. Not as apprentice and mentor, but as family."

The mentor watched him silently. His stare caused Birchfall to shift uneasily.

"Well..." The tom spoke slyly shifting position. "If you manage to pin me I might reconsider..."

Birchfall looked up surprised only to meet the other's challengeing smirk. With a grin he leaped at his idol.

Squirrelflight watched as uncle and nephew mocked fight with one another laughing. Those two were close, REAL close. She had a feeling since Birchfall was his sisters' young kit, the soot colored tom felt he had to protect the kit at all costs, therefore acted more like a protective uncle that could go into warrior mode at any time. His natural personality made the young apprentices gravitate towards him, and at times he would break out of his mentor exterior and just be a somewhat fun-loving tom. It was obvious Whitewing was fond of him and highly regarded him as much as she regarded Brackenfur, if not more. Birchpaw had already shared a connection with him from the begining with Ferncloud talking about the troubles he and Cloudtail would get into as kits.

At one point the soot colored tom felt her gaze on them and looked up. Royal blue eyes widened comically when they found themselves looking into calm lime green. The mentor quickly looked away, a light dust of pink coated his cheeks; however, Squirrelflight noticed it.

He quickly said something to his ex-apprentice before walking off. Birchfall titled his head in confusion before bounding off to follow his uncle.

As the two kin left her line of vision, a dark cruel smile slowly emerged on her face. Lime green eyes glinted maliously as two mischeavous words were spoked:

"Game on."

_Daddy looking at me_  
_Will I ever be free?_  
_Have I crossed the line?_

* * *

***A/N: Those stanzas can represent anyone, anyway I've been busy and I'm sorry I haven't been updating. :( Anyway I decided to post this to prove I'm still alive. I didn't realize how much I typed until I was done. xD I didn't label who said those words because it can represent anyone, it depends on how you interpret it. I was SUPPOSED to post this last month, but then my bro kicked me off my desktop.***

**Aniki: LEAVE! You have a laptop so go use it! D:**

**Kari: B-but! Mom's using it! T_T**

**So yeah...it had to wait. . Sorry.**

**Anyway...**

**Tigerstar isn't the only one with a hidden agenda.~**


End file.
